Last month’s NHL brawl between the New York Islanders and Pittsburgh Penguins – including 10 player ejections and 346 penalty minutes assessed – raises two topics: the teaching opportunity such incidents provide for Responsible Coaches and Responsible Sports Parents; and the need to reinforce the idea of Honoring the Game.
Televised Teachable Moments
When you see media reports on negative sports incidents, it is important to capitalize on the opportunity to talk with youth athletes about what they are witnessing. One way is to assert what you think of the situation (“It is never OK to start a fight or retaliate.”) Another is to ask rather than tell (“How would you handle a situation where it seems someone wants to fight?”) Often, it is more powerful and lasting when youth athletes reach their own conclusions, rather than simply nodding their heads along with something their parents or coaches say. Also, its important to draw the clear distinction between what professional athletes do in their respective arenas, and how youth sports has a different aim and objective.
Starting the conversation with a question doesn’t mean you can’t add your thoughts later and even push back if the player says something that you disagree with.
Of course, the other opportunity watching sports together on TV is to point out positive examples of players respecting their teammates, opponents, the officials, and the rules.
Explaining Honoring the Game
Especially in the wake of such a high-profile incident as the Penguins-Islanders brawl, impressionable young players may be tempted to emulate what they watched. Responsible Coaches and Responsible Sports Parents may proactively prevent that by reviewing with youth athletes the ROOTS of Honoring the Game, where ROOTS stands for Rules, Opponents, Officials, Teammates and Self.
Following are guidelines for how you might address each letter in ROOTS, allowing for nuances in your natural tone, players’ ages and sport-specific concerns:
Rules are what allow us to keep the game fair. Respect for the rules is important, even when it's possible to break them without getting caught. “We want you to play by the rules, even if you think you won't get caught if you break them.”
Without opponents, we could have no game. A good opponent makes us do our best. “We want to try our hardest to win, not because we hate our opponent, but because we want to play our best.”
It is very important to respect officials. Often, this can be the most difficult part of Honoring the Game, so we need to remember to keep it as a focus when we play. Officials are trained to enforce rules, and they have a very hard job. Without the officials the game would be unsafe and unfair. Officials are not perfect, and sometimes they make mistakes. However, there is no excuse for treating officials with disrespect when they make errors. “We challenge ourselves to show respect for officials, even when you disagree with the call.”
Some of your teammates may already be your best friends, and others may become your best friends. Later in life you will often be part of a team, and it is important to learn to work together. I hope you feel a commitment to each other as teammates and that you will support each other before, during and after practices and games.
Self-respect means living up to our own standards, no matter how the opposing players or fans behave. “Some people only Honor the Game when their opponents do, but we want to Honor the Game all the time.”
Responsible Coaches and Responsible Sports Parent who follow these guidelines and seize teachable moments (whether televised or otherwise!) contribute mightily to youth athletes getting the most out of the youth sports experience.
