I would sit down with my son and find out what his goals and expectations are for his hockey season. Too many times its the child's perception of what the parent wants or expects that influences his judgment. There's much more to learn from a team sport than just who gets to start. Contribute to the team goals as best he can and ask the coach what he needs to do to get playing time.
I would explain to my son that you have to keep your head up and work harder. There is a role for every player on the team, find his role and win together
Explain to your son that like everything in life, there is always someone smarter, stronger, richer, more athletic, better looking, luckier, harder working, etcetera. Make sure that your son knows to give 101% effort all the time, every practice & game in an effort to win back his starting spot. Just as the sophomore who replaced him was ready when your son faltered, so must your son be ready to replace the sophomore when he falters. Assure your son not to give up, but to speak with his coach, acknowledge the coach's reasons for replacing him, & reassure the coach that you are working hard to correct & improve the areas that caused him to be replaced. Another approach to teach your son is how to adapt & learn a different position that may be vulnerable to a takeover, or more available if your son shows improved skill to his coach in the near future. Teach your son to be the best possible teammate & not to focus on who took over his position, but rather why it got taken over & what he can do to regain it. Winners never quit & quitters never win!
There's nothing wrong with being driven in everything you do but sometimes it's best to take a back seat and evaluate what just happened.
Be realistic. If your son has no chance of beating the younger player out, then he might have to be content with limited minutes. But usually, seniors get at least a bit of preference, assuming he has paid his dues. This is a disappointing experience, but that is part of life, part of what sports teach. I would encourage my son to stick with it for the senior year, and try to beat out the younger player. Between the "senior factor" and hard work, it should still be a good year! But if he has "no chance", and the writing is on the wall, I would offer condolences, and support his decision to quit. Sitting on the bench and supporting teammates is not for everyone, just like sports!
Tell my son that he has made a commitment to the team and that, whether he plays, or not, he must stick with the team for the remainder of the season. There are other ways of being a good teammate, other than what he does in a game.
Ask him how he feels. How has he been doing in practice - working hard or hardly working (coasting?). Has his enthusiasm drained because of his declined competitive status or has his status slacked because his enthusiasm waned? I would suggest that he may be distracted by something else and openly discuss this.
Try and encourage him to keep his chin up and practice harder than ever. Let him know that it is up to him to repond to this adversity and help him figure out how to make the best of it.
This is tough for everyone. Mostly I think the athelete knows where they fit in; however, everyone has their own dreams and aspirations and one gets a little squashed. Hopefully the athelete has an opportunity to work to reearn their spot and offer the athelete advice to that effect. Don't let others tell you who you want to be!!!
I would tell him that hockey is a team sport and not a one man show.
This happen to my daughter last year during softball. I encouraged to give it her best when she did play and tried to support her every way I could.
I've found that most high school age kids appreciate a "consultant" approach more than direct teaching or guidance. So I'd try to be an empathetic listener, saying something like, "You don't seem to enjoy hockey as much as you did a little while ago. Care to talk about it?" Once he opens up, I'd use "listening phrases" like "Wow," "Really," "Huh," "I didn't know you felt like that," and "Tell me more." I might ask how he plans to handle the problem (if, in fact, it is a problem), and only after he tells me, or if he's stuck, I"d offer something like "Would you like to hear what other kids have done in similar circumstances?" If he does, then I'd suggest working hard in practice, supporting his teammates, giving maximum effort on every shift and simply playing for the fun of it as possible responses. I'd be curious about what he'd decide to do, and leave it up to him to think over. I'd check in after a couple of weeks to see how he's doing, but I'd trust him to make the best decision for him.
I would tell him "Don't be mad be motivated". Fortunately for the other player he may have more natural talent and you can't control that. But the one thing you can control is "Effort", If you give it all and lay it on the line leaving nothing. No one can ignore that. So when you go to practice have fun because it is a game. You don't "Do" sports you "Play" sports so have fun with it, but practice with a purpose, a purpose to be the best player you can be. Once you know that in your own mind then no one can tell you different.
Have a heart-to-heart talk. If he loves hockey and wants to play, I'd encourage him to play regardless of starting position status as he can still contribute to the team and enjoy himself. I'd encourage him to make a plan to improve his level of play to reclaim the position if feasible. If he really didn't want to play anymore, I'd have him finish out the season. Put that puck in his corner to make the call.
