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Ask the Expert | Youth Sports Advice from Positive Coaching Alliance

Positive Coaching Alliance Each week, we ask fans of Responsible Sports "What Would You Do?" in response to our weekly Responsible Sports Scenario Question. And many of you write in with scenario questions of your own! So we've asked Tina Syer, Associate Director at Positive Coaching Alliance, to answer one of your suggested questions each week.

A Responsible Sports Fan suggested the following Scenario Question:

Your daughter's goal is to achieve a college sports scholarship. Hence, you have provided her with the support (funding included) to help her accomplish her goal: private lessons, club, etc. However, she does not put in the effort asked of her by her coaches when not in practice. How do you motivate her to give 100% effort?

Dear Rebecca,

I’d start by seeing if my feelings matched my daughter’s feeling. Do you think she feels she is putting in the level of effort needed away from practice to achieve her goal of earning a college sports scholarship? Do you and she see eye to eye on what the coaches expect of her? Your course of action depends on the results of these conversations.

If your daughter tells you she knows she is not putting in the effort expected of her, I’d start to wonder if burnout could be playing a role. Does she actually need a short break to recharge her batteries, so she can bring her all? Summer Sanders (Olympic Gold Medal swimmer and PCA National Advisory Board member) talked about how she actually performed her best after her parents took her on a “forced” vacation.

It also sounds like some explicit goal setting could be useful, which can be particularly useful to make sure everyone is on the same page. Her coaches should be clear on what they expect from her outside of practice, and ideally it is the coaches who are checking in with her to make sure this is happening.

This way your daughter can depend on you to play the role of supportive parent, rather than worrying that you’re looking over her shoulder when she’s at home. Of course you can still recognize her when she’s putting in hard work away from practice: “I’m really impressed that you motivated to get up so early to get your run in,” but you can also have enough separation so that she does not feel that you’re her sports coach at home.

For more, please visit the Responsible Parenting guide.

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Want to submit a question of your own - either to get feedback from the Responsible Sports community or from Tina? Submit your scenario!

Tina Syer Ask the Expert
Tina Syer is the Associate Director of Positive Coaching Alliance, a nonprofit founded in the Stanford University Athletic Department.  Tina played Division I field hockey at Stanford University, where she graduated with honors in psychology and was named an Academic All-American. 

Her nine years of work for PCA have included keynote presentations for national organizations such as US Lacrosse, USA Water Polo and Special Olympics, more than 250 PCA workshop presentations, and production of multimedia products featuring PCA's National Spokesperson, Phil Jackson.  Tina's coaching experience includes seasons at the high school, college and Olympic Development levels.