A Responsible Sports Fan suggested the following Scenario Question:
My 16 yr. old daughter plays "Gold" softball, where almost all of the seniors have scholarships due to the exposure that these teams draw. However, I don't see my daughter doing what is necessary (practicing batting at home for example) for her to have a chance at this level. I believe this is her responsibility and that I shouldn't even have to ask her to do this. She is in honors classes coming into her Jr. year in high school and is a very driven young woman. We will be spending between $2000-3000 this summer alone for college exposure tournaments, lessons, bats, etc. At what point should we require more effort in order for us to keep supporting her financially?
Dear Susan,
Based on your question, it sounds to me like it’s time to have a talk with your daughter about her goals. I’d start with something very open-ended, such as, “Where do you see your softball experience going?” She might surprise you with the answer, or it might be exactly what you expect. Then I’d follow up by asking her if she feels that she has everything she needs to achieve that goal.
If she does say she wants to play in college (or even earn one of those very rare athletic scholarships), I’d ask her if she feels she’s doing everything she needs to do to give her the best chances of making that a reality. Rather than telling her what you think she should be doing, I’d suggest that she talk with her coach to put a plan in place to get her there (this will include formal practices with the team as well as work she can be doing outside of practice). She’ll likely take this plan to heart more deeply if it comes from the coach. She might also talk with one or two other players who have made it to this next level to find out what they did to get there.
One question you need to ask yourself is what will you do if she says that she really loves playing on the “gold” team, but she does not aspire to play in college. She may love her teammates and the experiences she is having, and PCA would argue she is learning lessons that will benefit her for a lifetime, but is this something you can continue to financially support? Having an open and honest discussion about this makes sense.
One more quick note: keep in mind there are infinitely more academic scholarships out there than athletic scholarships, and it sounds like your daughter may be in line for that sort of financial aid, if she keeps achieving in those honors classes!
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