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Responsible Sports™ supports volunteer youth sports coaches
and parents who help our children succeed both on and off the field.

Ask the Expert | Youth Sports Advice from Positive Coaching Alliance

Positive Coaching Alliance Each week, we ask fans of Responsible Sports "What Would You Do?" in response to our weekly Responsible Sports Scenario Question. And many of you write in with scenario questions of your own! So we've asked Tina Syer, Chief Impact Officer at Positive Coaching Alliance, to answer one of your suggested questions each week.

A Responsible Sports Fan suggested the following Scenario Question:

My son is choosing not to play largely because he was not placed on a team with any of his friends. This is primarily a social thing for him. The policy of not putting kids on a team with his friends does not make sense to me.

What is your take on putting kids with their friends on sports team?

Sharon

Dear Sharon,

Would it be possible for you to “re-frame” this league policy for your son?  This policy ensures that he is going to make new friends (to add to his existing friends).  He can still go to his other friends’ games to support them, and hopefully they’ll come to his.

For this particular situation, it strikes me as a shame if he chooses not to play because his current friends are not on his team.  If you can, try to get him to focus on the opportunity this puts in front of him -- rather than on what’s missing (and what is known and comfortable).

To the larger policy issue of not allowing kids to be assigned to teams with their friends, I think this policy is hard to enforce equally.  How is a league supposed to know all of the friendships that exist and then make sure that each player is equally unfamiliar with his/her new teammates?  I like the idea that each season kids get to meet new kids and form new friendships, but having a hard and fast rule about not allowing kids to play on teams with their friends seems to take things a bit too far.

Tina

Want to submit a question of your own - either to get feedback from the Responsible Sports community or from Tina? Submit your scenario!


Tina Syer Ask the Expert
Tina Syer is the Chief Impact Officer of Positive Coaching Alliance, a nonprofit founded in the Stanford University Athletic Department.  Tina played Division I field hockey at Stanford University, where she graduated with honors in psychology and was named an Academic All-American. 

Her twelve years of work for PCA have included keynote presentations for national organizations such as US Lacrosse, USA Water Polo and Special Olympics, more than 300 PCA workshop presentations, and production of multimedia products featuring PCA's National Spokesperson, Phil Jackson.  Tina's coaching experience includes seasons at the high school, college and Olympic Development levels.