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Ask the Expert | Youth Sports Advice from Positive Coaching Alliance

Positive Coaching Alliance Each week, we ask fans of Responsible Sports "What Would You Do?" in response to our weekly Responsible Sports Scenario Question. And many of you write in with scenario questions of your own! So we've asked Tina Syer, Associate Director at Positive Coaching Alliance, to answer one of your suggested questions each week.

A Responsible Sports Fan suggested the following Scenario Question:

I coach Ice Hockey (13/14 yr olds) and I have a couple of players that are "bratty." They want to do what they want, they roll their eyes when being coached or whistle when the coach is talking to them. Should I give in to them or kick them off the team?

Dear Thomas,

I hear you that coaching teenagers is not always easy! The good news is that I don’t think you have to make a choice between giving in to them or kicking them off the team.

Although it may sound counterintuitive, I’d try giving these misbehaving players more responsibility at practice. Ask them to run a drill or to demonstrate. By putting players in charge, they often feel more invested in the drill going well, so they put in more effort and focus better.

If this does not work, and they are still acting out, I’d ask them to sit on the bench until they feel they are ready to re-join the team with the right attitude. I might also do this in the middle of a scrimmage (or drill they really like). If they come back and are still acting out, then I’d sit them down again and tell them I’ll let them know when they can re-enter practice.

After letting them sit for a while, I would calmly talk with them about whether or not they feel they’re ready to take part in practice in a way that will benefit our team. Ideally, you do this in a way that is very low profile (so perhaps your assistant coach is still running the practice, and you can talk one-on-one with the player).

Many athletes who are acting out a practice are doing this to get attention (even if it is negative attention), so do your best to address these players in a calm way that does not inadvertently reinforce their behavior. The silver lining to this situation is that turning around players like these and getting them to be positive, contributing members of your team will feel like a tremendous coaching accomplishment!

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Tina Syer Ask the Expert
Tina Syer is the Associate Director of Positive Coaching Alliance, a nonprofit founded in the Stanford University Athletic Department.  Tina played Division I field hockey at Stanford University, where she graduated with honors in psychology and was named an Academic All-American. 

Her nine years of work for PCA have included keynote presentations for national organizations such as US Lacrosse, USA Water Polo and Special Olympics, more than 250 PCA workshop presentations, and production of multimedia products featuring PCA's National Spokesperson, Phil Jackson.  Tina's coaching experience includes seasons at the high school, college and Olympic Development levels.